Who I am & why I am here.

I feel as if this should have been my very first post: introducing myself

In a way I did let you dive in a new chapter in my life in my first post. I set a book before you with no title, opened it and what you saw was a blank page ready to be written on. It all started with a performance, the author would say. But this would not do, would it? It would be like reading a book from the middle rather than the beginning. What was there before the performance? Who are you? What are you doing?

So, before the performance there was a girl named Elena. And that girl was, is and will be me.

I was born in Greece on the 5th of November (Remember, remember the fifth of November). I would love to say that faint snowflakes fell from the cloudy sky or give any sort of description to romanticize my birth but really, there is nothing to say. Screams, blood and excitement were involved. I know I had captured my mother’s curiosity but it is my grandfather’s heart that was given to me unconditionally and completely. I have been told he looked at me with such admiration and affection, he hadn’t even looked at my aunt thus or my father (which says something because my father was a handsome baby. Azure orbs, gilded hair, puffy red cheeks, go figure). Of course, I wouldn’t know (and my only source of inforIMG_4753mation on the matter is my grandmother who always exaggerates) yet I beam at the thought. I did love my grandfather quite dearly.

Howbeit, to give you memories from my childhood would not be necessary, though we will get eventually there. For now I would rather talk of the present. After all, it is the present that has enchanted me, it is the present that I want to live, for the first time it is the present I wish to experience to set a good foundation for my future. It has not been long since I graduated from High School and in a couple of days I will be moving to another country to study what I have loved for quite some time now: literature and Drama/Theatre studies — literature, yes, writing, forming beating life between the lines, being able to create art, become part of it. 

This blog along with many things indicate my new beginning. Exposure, I told myself, exposure is what I need, for I was constantly hiding behind a mask when it came to writing. I would write of Estella Havisham, Miss Havisham, Madame Bovary, Juliet, Dorian Gray, Basil, Sibyl Vane, I would write from their point of views and yet I refused to write from mine and well, when I did write from my perspective it was for my eyes alone. I did expose myself in a way through acting. Alas, it was not myself I was exposing. I had no trouble being on stage, becoming someone else. It was more appealing after all to see from someone else’s eyes, yourself thus just becomes a distant memory, a paper wrinkled and bended by the wind. That moment you are not your own. And it was in the Picture of Dorian Gray stated somewhere that an artist should never put too much of himself into a piece of art and I was careful of that, too careful in fact.

Writers aren’t people exactly. Or, if they’re any good, they’re a whole lot of people trying so hard to be one person

-F. Scott Fitzgerald

Who am I? I have no idea, I can give you a name, an occupation, my fascinations but who I truly am? This is a mystery even to me. Looking back, I laugh at the naivety of mine, the ignorance to think that I knew so many things when I knew so little. Now I think I know even less. But surely, it is the charm of the childhood to have the confidence to believe you know everything. Yes, perhaps you do know everything until you ripe, until you blink and you realize that you know nothing. You are as vulnerable as a feather. And you don’t realize this until your skin stops being velvety and until your eyes lose their flare.

Why am I here? To test myself, I guess and to take you on a journey, share a piece of knowledge with you when it comes to literature. I would like to talk of development and philosophy (though the latter will be a rarity, I assure you, I know so little about it), share my point of view, little treats here and there, things that we often ignore but are to be cherished, things that are under our nose but we don’t see. I would also like describe the world around me, that new world that is expanding before me and with the eagerness of a child I rush to touch everything, sense it and eventually write about it — we are as unique as our fingerprints after all, are we not?

Now this has gotten more serious which makes me wish I had started this blog a year ago when I would have bombarded everyone with caps lock (I still bombard people with caps lock to tell you the truth) and exclamation marks. There was a lighter version of everything last year, now everything may be more vivid but it is also a shade darker, the faint pink has turned into deep red and the sky’s cloudless blue has turned into a stars forever-kind-of blue. Stars forever is actually a shade of blue, google it up because I had no idea myself!

The drums please, now let the questions begin:

•Why are you blogging publicly, rather than keeping a personal journal?
It feels like the right thing to do. Getting ahead of myself, changing, taking in new habits and new interests. Keeping a personal journal wasn’t enough anymore, I needed to take it onto the next level. It went well with that new beginning I keep mentioning. Like I said: exposure, development, improvement — it should be my holy trinity this year. To share this experience, to share the colours of the Welsh sky, my excitement, my amazement and give you a glimpse from my perspective while I long to see from your perspective as well.

•What topics do you think you’ll write about?
Life! Narcissism! Corruption! Purity! The fascinations of the living! Oh, but in all seriousness I will write about life, what truly makes it precious, those simple pleasure, the summery breeze, sunsets, sunrises, things that I find fascinating, essays about characters, my studies, reviews about books I read, something that pleases me, something that displeases me, about human nature through my eyes, things that I cherish and love, value, all that stuff.

•Who would you love to connect with via your blog?
Everyone and anyone! I would love to read your opinion, your stories and your fascinations. To be unique on your own way is a gift every single one of us has. We deal differently with things, we live different lives, we see different colours (true story bro, no one actually sees the same shades of a colour, amazing, isn’t it?), even some things taste bitterer, sourer or sweeter to us. It is the same when it comes to perspectives. What may be amusing to one, may be awfully tedious to the other. Life, right? It’s crazy.

•If you blog successfully throughout the next year, what would you hope to have accomplished?
KNOWLEDGE,” I declare haughtily in an as a matter of fact tone. I mean what kind of question could this be? I go ahead and laugh in a devious manner because I can. But what I truly hope is that I gain experience and yes, knowledge. Getting to know the world, getting to know myself, looking back and smiling, no regrets, nothing. To see myself changing before my eyes — that would be truly remarkable. Mature, travel, taste everything, suck the marrow out of life, carpe diem (what a cliché you are, Elena.) and write everything about it, this is what I hope to have accomplished.

5 Comments

  1. Absolutely love it. you write beautifully. 🙂
    “I was constantly hiding behind a mask when it came to writing” – This i can very well relate too. It takes a lot of time to open to your own self.

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